i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
