Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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