Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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