Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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