Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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