Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
