I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
