forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So here I am, sexting at work.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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