thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
