pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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