Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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