You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All the doctor said was why
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
