We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
as a side note pls kill me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
