am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
