i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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