If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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