i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
