feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
