My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
