Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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