i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
