It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
