still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
