I'm jealous of your bromance
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
