dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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