so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
