Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i now understand why vodka
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
