There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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