and you said cock pushups were impossible
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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