Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
