people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
