last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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