Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is my gift to your gina
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
