Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
third nipple confirmed
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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