Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
