she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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