I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
