I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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