Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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