no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
