I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
