It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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