I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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