that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
