White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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