Will you blow on my dice?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
