Soap is not a condiment
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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