I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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