Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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