You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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