addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm passing your future prison.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
