god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
